Marriage Problems - Need Advice

[Anonymous]

I am having problems with my second wife.

My first wife spent too much money and we had some financial difficulties, but we were always able to pay our bills. I eventually divorced her because she spent too much money, and someone told me over and over that she lied to me about something. I forget what it was.

I never really appreciated her until I got married the second time. My second wife, from the very beginning, began spending more money than I thought possible. She would grab a credit card and then go run it up to the maximum, purchasing things which did not seem to be important to me. I was told by others (mostly her friends), “She really loves you, and just give her a chance to make the marriage work.” They even accused me of not wanting to make our marriage work. So I did not complain.

A week later, she grabs another credit card and went out and ran it up to its limit, and I could not tell you to this day what it was that she bought, but it sure cost a lot of money and now that money is gone. Now I just owe too much money. In just 20 months, this woman put me further in debt than my previous wife did in 8 years of marriage. Her friends still tell me, “Just give her some time; she really loves you and she will make this marriage work. Let her do what she believes she needs to do. It will all be okay in the end.” One of her friends said that I really had a negative attitude, and I needed to think about my own attitude. Another one of her friends said, “You just don’t like brunettes; that’s your problem.” (My first wife was a blonde). I tried to explain my problem with her was, she spent too much money, but her friend still insists it is because my second wife is a brunette. She says I am not giving my new wife a chance because she is a brunette. I have no idea what her point is. She is spending too much money; I could care less about her hair color.

A week later, my wife goes to the bank and takes out the largest loan possible, against the value of our house, and now all that money is gone and I am left with a huge mortgage. I could not tell you today what she spends the money on.

When we went in for counselling, she said that spending all this money was important for our financial stability, but now I have lost my job and I have lost my health insurance. So, to solve that problem, she took the remainder of my credit cards and charged them up to the hilt. She says this will solve our problems, but I don’t see how. Her close friends still say, I should give her a chance, but now she is out looking for more credit. They tell me that I need to cooperate with her and work as a team; one suggested that I try spending a little money myself. I just don’t want her to spend more money that I do not have and I want my wife to stop spending money as well. And again, her friends accuse me of having a bad attitude and saying that I was not really giving her a chance, and that my real problem is, I just don’t like brunettes.

Then, the other day, my wife lectured me on financial discipline, and how we need to get our spending under control. She told me we needed to spend our money responsibly and wisely. Then she took out another huge loan right after lecturing me.

She keeps telling me that all of these things that she is buying (most of which I have never seen), will make our marriage better. I cannot see my way out from under this mountain of debt where we have nothing to show for it.

My first wife was not perfect, but I think I want her back.

Any Advice?




















































I pulled this from another forum and thought it was so good I had to share.
Big D

[Rich McVey]

I pulled this from another forum and thought it was so good I had to share. Big D

I would have to say "RUN"!

[G-Man]

Sounds like a BS story. You can't take out a mortgage without both spouses signing the loan.

Dude needs to grow a pair and put her on an allowance as well as enrolling both of them in a basic home finance course. If she can't live with that, time to cut ties and get out before bankruptcy becomes the only financial option. I can never understand the thought process of people who spend money they don't have. Especially if it means having to do without basic necessitities like health insurance, rent, untilities, etc.

[sellis_414]

I think the counceling was a good thing. Speaking from experience, taking advice from her friends isn't always the best. They see it as she isn't doing anything wrong cause she probably isn't telling them all the details (The men are always wrong)!!! The current wife has a different lifestyle (Spends WAY more) than he was use to compared to the first wife. It doesn't help about the lost job and health insurance, that alone will put any man over the top even if you weren't married.

Sometimes us men have to bite the bullet and bail or hang tough and work through the issues. It sounds like the saying, Champange taste on a beer budget. But from what I read she has exceeded that a little too much.

[bionic_one]

I'm calling BS on it. You can't get a loan against a mortgage without both people signing. You also can't use a credit card unless your name is on it.

Guy is either a complete moron, and deserves what he got into, or the story is a complete fabrication. I'm leaning towards fabrication.


Also, this one time, at band camp I caught a 72" brook trout.

[Marc Martyn]

Stop listening to her friends. Time for her and her friends to get a reality check. Hair color can be resolved by a quick trip to Walgreens and 20 minutes in the bathroom.

[ryan2202]

MONEY CANNOT BUY LOVE....No amount of money can "save" a marriage, or relationship for that matter. If she needs to spend money to be happy, she has an addiction to spending money, Shopaholic, or whatever you want to call it. She can't control it, and she's making excuses to make herself think she's doing it for a good reason. The counseling is good, but come'on, no amount of debt is EVER GOOD. To make an excuse to help it sound good, usualy means its NOT a good thing to be doing. Look into Debt counselors, or Addicts to Spending $$. Something like that...She may be the nicest lady, but to be racking that much in debt isn't good to a marriage, IN FACT FINANCIAL REASONS IS AMONG THE TOP REASON OF WHY PEOPLE GET DIVORCES. If yoy Love her still More then the day you two were married, and you see that your love will grow, WORK ON THE MARRIAGE, TALK TO HER, Tell her the issues....and you both will have some changing and adjustments to do. if you really don't see this working out, then maybe its time to move on unfortunately. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Is there another issue here of you allowing her to spend all this money? Do you think money makes her happy? I don't know dude...all I know is MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE, and it DEFINATELY isn't the FOUNDATION of MARRIAGE or saving one either.

[Dustin07]

MONEY CANNOT BUY LOVE.....

apparently you've never heard that song "Roxanne". :safe:

[The Quadfather]

MONEY CANNOT BUY LOVE.....

apparently you've never heard that song "Roxanne". :safe:

Nice.....:safe: :safe:

[Anonymous]

Guys, you can stop now. It is a joke.

[The Quadfather]

I read your original post in a hurry at 7:00 am... I thought oh man.... Big D's got problems. I didn't even see that it was a cut/paste from another forum.

[MikeFishes]

Copy n Paste in a Bulk Email! That was too good!

[Slick_Rick]

Seperate accounts for one thing!I only give money to the wife for bills to pay if she dont she'll be eatin' top ramen!!If you write the check and she don't pay tell her to kick rocks!!! I'll take you fishin' no worries! I've seen my dad go through the same thing, we call her the dog! put the dog down!!!He went to the hospital after a seizeire and she decided to go out drugging, so keep your head up and look for the positive in life and you'll find it hopefully sooner than later![confused]

[Marc Martyn]

You shouldn't have gotten married the first time...........

[tmusky1]

I'm sure all the friends of the second wife are blaming the first wife for all that's wrong in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Guys, you can stop now. It's a joke.

As I read all of the above posts I can't help but laugh.
Please re-read the original post and study the photos below. The story will take on a whole new meaning for you.
I'm sorry guys...It was just too much fun.

Eight years:


Twenty months:

[ryan2202]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU KNOW NOW IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.....FORGET IT, RUN NOW!!!!!!

[ryan2202]

Isn't it sweet there how we're all here for ya though Big D...Nice joke though, That was awesome!

[Marc Martyn]

I'm sure all the friends of the second wife are blaming the first wife for all that's wrong in the marriage.

The numbers show it all.

[tmusky1]

Wait......









What?

I thought we were talking about wives