Marriage Problems - Need Advice
Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:11 am
I am having problems with my second wife.
My first wife spent too much money and we had some financial difficulties, but we were always able to pay our bills. I eventually divorced her because she spent too much money, and someone told me over and over that she lied to me about something. I forget what it was.
I never really appreciated her until I got married the second time. My second wife, from the very beginning, began spending more money than I thought possible. She would grab a credit card and then go run it up to the maximum, purchasing things which did not seem to be important to me. I was told by others (mostly her friends), “She really loves you, and just give her a chance to make the marriage work.” They even accused me of not wanting to make our marriage work. So I did not complain.
A week later, she grabs another credit card and went out and ran it up to its limit, and I could not tell you to this day what it was that she bought, but it sure cost a lot of money and now that money is gone. Now I just owe too much money. In just 20 months, this woman put me further in debt than my previous wife did in 8 years of marriage. Her friends still tell me, “Just give her some time; she really loves you and she will make this marriage work. Let her do what she believes she needs to do. It will all be okay in the end.” One of her friends said that I really had a negative attitude, and I needed to think about my own attitude. Another one of her friends said, “You just don’t like brunettes; that’s your problem.” (My first wife was a blonde). I tried to explain my problem with her was, she spent too much money, but her friend still insists it is because my second wife is a brunette. She says I am not giving my new wife a chance because she is a brunette. I have no idea what her point is. She is spending too much money; I could care less about her hair color.
A week later, my wife goes to the bank and takes out the largest loan possible, against the value of our house, and now all that money is gone and I am left with a huge mortgage. I could not tell you today what she spends the money on.
When we went in for counselling, she said that spending all this money was important for our financial stability, but now I have lost my job and I have lost my health insurance. So, to solve that problem, she took the remainder of my credit cards and charged them up to the hilt. She says this will solve our problems, but I don’t see how. Her close friends still say, I should give her a chance, but now she is out looking for more credit. They tell me that I need to cooperate with her and work as a team; one suggested that I try spending a little money myself. I just don’t want her to spend more money that I do not have and I want my wife to stop spending money as well. And again, her friends accuse me of having a bad attitude and saying that I was not really giving her a chance, and that my real problem is, I just don’t like brunettes.
Then, the other day, my wife lectured me on financial discipline, and how we need to get our spending under control. She told me we needed to spend our money responsibly and wisely. Then she took out another huge loan right after lecturing me.
She keeps telling me that all of these things that she is buying (most of which I have never seen), will make our marriage better. I cannot see my way out from under this mountain of debt where we have nothing to show for it.
My first wife was not perfect, but I think I want her back.
Any Advice?
I pulled this from another forum and thought it was so good I had to share.
Big D
My first wife spent too much money and we had some financial difficulties, but we were always able to pay our bills. I eventually divorced her because she spent too much money, and someone told me over and over that she lied to me about something. I forget what it was.
I never really appreciated her until I got married the second time. My second wife, from the very beginning, began spending more money than I thought possible. She would grab a credit card and then go run it up to the maximum, purchasing things which did not seem to be important to me. I was told by others (mostly her friends), “She really loves you, and just give her a chance to make the marriage work.” They even accused me of not wanting to make our marriage work. So I did not complain.
A week later, she grabs another credit card and went out and ran it up to its limit, and I could not tell you to this day what it was that she bought, but it sure cost a lot of money and now that money is gone. Now I just owe too much money. In just 20 months, this woman put me further in debt than my previous wife did in 8 years of marriage. Her friends still tell me, “Just give her some time; she really loves you and she will make this marriage work. Let her do what she believes she needs to do. It will all be okay in the end.” One of her friends said that I really had a negative attitude, and I needed to think about my own attitude. Another one of her friends said, “You just don’t like brunettes; that’s your problem.” (My first wife was a blonde). I tried to explain my problem with her was, she spent too much money, but her friend still insists it is because my second wife is a brunette. She says I am not giving my new wife a chance because she is a brunette. I have no idea what her point is. She is spending too much money; I could care less about her hair color.
A week later, my wife goes to the bank and takes out the largest loan possible, against the value of our house, and now all that money is gone and I am left with a huge mortgage. I could not tell you today what she spends the money on.
When we went in for counselling, she said that spending all this money was important for our financial stability, but now I have lost my job and I have lost my health insurance. So, to solve that problem, she took the remainder of my credit cards and charged them up to the hilt. She says this will solve our problems, but I don’t see how. Her close friends still say, I should give her a chance, but now she is out looking for more credit. They tell me that I need to cooperate with her and work as a team; one suggested that I try spending a little money myself. I just don’t want her to spend more money that I do not have and I want my wife to stop spending money as well. And again, her friends accuse me of having a bad attitude and saying that I was not really giving her a chance, and that my real problem is, I just don’t like brunettes.
Then, the other day, my wife lectured me on financial discipline, and how we need to get our spending under control. She told me we needed to spend our money responsibly and wisely. Then she took out another huge loan right after lecturing me.
She keeps telling me that all of these things that she is buying (most of which I have never seen), will make our marriage better. I cannot see my way out from under this mountain of debt where we have nothing to show for it.
My first wife was not perfect, but I think I want her back.
Any Advice?
I pulled this from another forum and thought it was so good I had to share.
Big D
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Copy n Paste in a Bulk Email! That was too good!![[wink]](./images/smilies/msp_wink.gif "Wink"){kind=small}
