by Uncle Wes, October 23, 2006

Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then?

I was sitting around today reminiscing about the past adventures I shared with close friends many years ago. One opening day of trout season came to mind, for us this wasn’t just about fishing but more of a family get together and celebration with close friends. We never stayed in an organized campground, well, mainly because we didn’t want to see the front gate twice in one day if you catch my drift. You see we used to drink a bit back in our youth and didn’t really want to ruin other folks camping experience. We had one little spot we would go to every year that was only about fifteen miles from the lake we fished at. It was just perfect for me, and the band of outlaws that I called friends.

Now these friends came from all over just for this get together, SW Washington, Central Oregon, and in and around the Portland area. These were all friends that I had grown up with and even went to school with. Every year we would converge on this certain lake for the opening day of trout season. This particular year the weather was less than stellar, cold and wet to be precise. Now we were all in our early twenty’s and just trying to find our place’s in life if you know what I mean, a few of them were married and one of them even had a two year old little girl. Which by the way is where I got the nickname "Uncle Wes" she was and still is the apple of my eye. Anyway the married couples all had vans and the rest of us were single, and being the cavemen that we were we stayed in a tent, all of us in one great big one.

We all arrived around the same time on a Friday evening and set up camp, made dinner, and then sat around the campfire telling lies and knocking back a few cold ones. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then? Everyone was taking an inventory of what they had for fishing and getting everything in order for the next morning. Now back then none of us had a boat and we generally fished from the dam, which meant if you had a hook, worm, and a bobber you were set. So we all sat around getting silly and decided we should hit the hay so we could be up bright and early for our fishing adventure. Now some of us went to bed earlier than others, but it was nothing a few aspirin in the morning wouldn’t fix. Now back then there were a few things that I knew for sure and that was with five guys sleeping in the same tent the one who went to sleep first generally slept best or the one that drank the most usually slept quite well also. Now I’m not saying anyone snored, but I can assure you there were no critters to be found within a five-mile radius of our camp.

Finally the alarm clock went off, rise and shine, hit the road, get the move on. Well not exactly it seems that we set our tent up on some rocks, limbs, and what seemed like boulders. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then? Anyway everyone started moving taking account of all their aches and pains from the nights sleep. Now everyone is dressed, up, and moving. The married couples are prepared with breakfast and the likes, us cavemen thought of dinner, chili and burgers. But we did have coffee and got a little fire going and got some coffee brewing, thank god for the paper cups on the floorboards of our car. But we did remember the essentials, Kahlua, Bailey’s, Irish whiskey and Excedrin. After a couple of cups of instant breakfast we are ready to hit the dam and get some fishing in. Of course we packed our instant breakfast just in case we needed a mid-morning snack, then just for good measure a couple of cases of beer for lunch. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then?

As I mentioned before the weather was less than stellar, overcast with a little drizzle and a slight breeze just to make things interesting. But believe it or not we were prepared for the worst and had plenty of warm clothing not to mention all the radiator fluid we had for breakfast. We arrived at the dam parking lot and preceded to get our gear and nourishment together, now keep in mind that this is opening day and the dam has quite a few folks on it and the only open spot was in the middle. So it was a little bit more of a hike than we anticipated but never the less we were on our way with spirits high and goofy grins on our faces. Finally we are in place with our gear in the water and just to celebrate someone broke out a little peppermint for dessert, I believe it is called schnapps. The fish are definitely on the bite, now keep in mind that once you hook one you have to reel him up the side of the dam which is quite a ways up. Now every now and again one would come off the hook and sail about a hundred feet back down to the water but it was still a good time with plenty of laughter to go around. Now after every fish caught and landed, of course called for a celebration nip, seemed everyone had a little pint of something or another in there back pocket. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then?

Of course as the day wears on the weather gets worse and worse with several down pours just to keep things interesting and to boot it isn’t even noon yet. Now every now and again someone would kick an open bottle of radiator fluid over and our area is beginning to smell like a distillery. I happen to notice that we seem to be getting more and more room on the dam, now I would like to think it was because folks were getting their limits and not that we were to obnoxious. But I regret to say I think it was the latter. One of the gals was mixing a cup of coffee and accidentally dropped an open fifth of Kahlua over the side now instead of sinking it just kind of floated in this brown paper bag right in the middle of this kahlua oil slick. Just to make matters worse it would float from one end of the dam back to the other, as you can imagine we were now getting more and more room to spread out. Yes it was becoming quite a fun filled morning and we supplied the entertainment. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then?

Then I noticed that the sky was getting really dark and you could even feel the moisture in the air. Luckily I brought a great big heavy duty rain coat and got into the rice paddy squat leaning against a concrete barrier and pulling the coat over my head in preparation of the down pour that was due to hit any minute. First a few drops hit and then it was like someone was throwing buckets of water on us it was raining so hard. Now the two year old was pretty smart and figured out she could stand in front of me and stay dry, so I propped my elbows on my knees and presto she had a front porch to stay dry under. This monsoon lasted about 45 minutes so I just got comfortable and got in about a 30-minute nap until it blew over. Then it was back to fishing, we each had brought in a few more and lost a few but each one called for a celebratory nip just to keep things on an even keel. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? One of the wives mentioned that there was a restaurant down the road and it was probably a good idea to get a hot meal in and warm up a bit. So we all loaded up in the vans and headed down the road for some nourishment. You see we weren’t completely stupid we had a few designated drivers.

Upon our arrival we noticed that the parking lot was full and new that we would be in for a little bit of a wait but that didn’t matter at least it was nice and warm. We all filed in and pushed a couple of tables together, checked the menus and enjoyed the smell of fresh home made pies. The waitress came by and asked if we would like something to drink. So after a little discussion we decided that Bloody Marys would really hit the spot, that way we could get in our veggie’s for the day. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? After delivering our drinks we each gave our order to the waitress and preceded to talk about past adventures and once again laughter filled the air. After a few more drinks our meals arrived and they were definitely worth waiting for, for us bachelors it was our first food of the day and it was delicious. But I think it could have been shoe leather fried in bacon grease and we still would have loved it. After a couple cups of coffee and a piece of some of that home made pie we were warm inside and out and ready to hit the lake again.

After a little discussion we decided that maybe another spot would be worth trying our luck at, and as luck would have it we noticed a little cove not to far from the dam. Upon our arrival we noticed a trail going down to the water which would be a great deal of help considering the bank was almost straight up and down and lined with rocks that were about 12 inches in diameter. Yes this going to be a little challenging but we were up to the task knowing that once we got our spots we weren’t going to do much moving around. So we loaded up our gear and of course our liquid nourishment, the forgotten two cases of beer. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? Anyway down the hill we went and got set up and all of us cast out into the lake and prepared to wait for our first bite. Now much to our surprise we had three on shore in just a matter of minutes and of course that called for a couple of cold frosty ones. Now I want to get a little bit more into exactly what the hillside was like, lets just say footing was a little tricky and the rocks were not all that stable, if you get my drift.

I had just landed my third or fourth trout of the day things were starting to get a little hazy at this point as to the actual fish count. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? Anyway I was putting another worm on my hook when I noticed the air temperature was beginning to drop and get noticeable colder. But never the less I stood up and threw my gear back into the lake when one of the rocks slipped out from under me and I started moving forward. Now knowing that if I try and put on the brakes and the rocks being a bit unstable not to mention my own balance being a touch unstable, I will fall face first and probably hurt myself. So anyway I start moving forward towards the water and I’m thinking I can just slow down then I will be able to stop safely. Well it sounded good anyway, I kept moving forward first my shoes got wet then I felt the water line at my knees and before I knew it I was chest high in the lake but at least I didn’t fall and hurt myself. Now to say the water was a little chilly might be an understatement but my first thought was wow that was a nice cast. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then?

So I turned around trying to keep my composure and what little dignity I had left and start walking back up this rocky hillside slipping and sliding all the way back to my spot. And yes, get ready for my next bite and bring this day to an end. But just when you think things can’t get any worse they always do and this was no exception, yes the breeze started to pick up and ran a chill all through my whole body, now to add insult to injury it started snowing. Now everything is just perfect I’m wet, cold, and frozen. Now as I’m sitting next to this little girl with my teeth chattering she looks me in the eye’s and say’s "Uncle Wes, your funny." That’s just great now I’m entertainment for a two year old the live version of Big Bird, a drunken Big Bird. Now everyone is starting to ask me if I’m ready to call it a day and I’m determined not to end the day on my account so I reply, "no I’ll be fine I’ll just have another beer." Right, just what I needed, but you have to keep up that tough guy image. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then?

It started to snow a little bit harder and harder as the minutes went buy and finally everyone was ready to call it a day, thank god! Now my pants are starting to freeze up and I’ve had about enough of being a tough guy for one day. But it wasn’t a bad day we each averaged about four trout apiece and that would make for a nice dinner for all of us. We climb back up the hill and got ready to load up in the vans when we decide we should have one more beer before we make it back to camp and just talk. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? Well you know what the subject was, we all had a good laugh over it and now the rigs were warm and we were all ready to go. Yes all and all it was a pretty good outing and everyone had a good time and caught fish you can’t ask for anymore than that. On the way back to camp we decide we needed to stop at the little market and pick up a few things to go with our trout dinner and of course some more liquid refreshments to complete the evening. And you know as luck would have it refreshments were on sale, yep things are looking up.

Upon our arrival back to camp the first thing on my agenda was to get into some nice dry warm clothes, build a fire, put up some tarps, and clean fish. I was in charge of building the fire and I had a nice blazer going in a matter of minutes as everyone else went about completing there tasks so we could sit down to a nice dinner and relax around the fire. The temperature started to warm up and turn the snow into a nice manageable drizzle. Dinner turned out quite nice and we were all sitting around the fire warm and full knocking back a few cold frosty ones. Then I got the idea that I would make a little clothes drying rack and dry all my wet stuff so I wouldn’t have to pack home wet soggy clothes in the morning. I tell you it was quite a masterpiece and had enough room for all of my wet stuff and it wasn’t to close to the fire. Yes it was a pretty ingenious idea and was working great. Of course as the evening wore on and we put back a few more cold ones and started telling more lies one of the girls mentioned that it looked like my clothes were smoking. I looked over and said no it was just steam as they were still drying. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then? Now about fifteen minutes later I happen to glance back over at my clothes only to see that they were on fire. I leapt to my feet grabbing them and putting them out in hopes of salvaging something but to my dismay it was a total loss.

Well I moved back to my spot around the fire and the little girl once again looked me in the eyes and said "Uncle Wes your funny." Now this set off a huge round of laughter all at my expense. Yes honey, Big Bird is here for your entertainment. After a few more hours of refreshments and lie’s one of the fella’s decides he is going to sleep under the tarps around the fire so he grabs his sleeping bag and is out in a matter of minutes. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? The evening started to wind down and the couples made their way to the vans to sleep in relative warmth and comfort, I knew if I was to get any sleep that I would have to get into the tent and be the first to fall asleep. As the evening went on I would here the rest of them make their way into the tent and climb into their sleeping bags. There was a few times that night that it rained so hard it woke me up, I mean it came down hard. But I always managed to fall back to sleep in the warmth of that sleeping bag all nice and bundled up. Around 6am I woke to the feeling of my pillow being wet and upon further inspection my bag was also wet, now I’m wide awake and look around and there is two inches of water inside the tent. Now everyone is awake complaining of the same thing, upon further inspection of the situation I notice that someone forgot to zip the door to the tent up. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then? Of course everyone is scrambling to their feet and trying to get outside dragging their packs with them in hopes of finding a few dry clothes to change into.

As I poked my head out I noticed the fella that slept by the fire was sleeping in about six inches of mud. It seems the sparks from the fire had melted some holes in the tarp directly above him. Did I mention we used to drink a bit back then? Well at least there was a bright side to the situation I wasn’t muddy and wet, just wet. We all started going threw our packs and everyone managed to salvage some dry clothes to change into. I built a fire so we could start breakfast when someone mentioned they could use my clothes drying rack and that set off the laughter. After a nice breakfast of eggs, bacon, potatoes, and biscuits we sat around the fire laughing about the events that had taken place yesterday and raised our glasses for a toast to good friends. Did I mention that we used to drink a bit back then? We proceeded to break camp, shook hands and went off in different directions heading for home. On my drive home I thought how nice it was just to get together with this band of outlaws and share some good times.